


Dipper's Sensual Dorito Adventure

by WitchofVoid



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: I'm Sorry, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-08-08 20:50:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7772929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WitchofVoid/pseuds/WitchofVoid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just your average BillDip fic</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dipper's Sensual Dorito Adventure

Dipper Pines was being dragged somewhere by his sister for the millionth time. It doesn’t really matter where. Also, they are now both eighteen and in college (he’s legal kids).

“Are you having fun Dipdop Dip n’ Dots Sir Dippingsauce Bro-Bro?” asked his sister. Dipper was not having fun. He hates everything fun ever. Dipper just wants to fuck the journals.

Suddenly, Dipper saw a sexy hot man. He was like the most beautiful guy ever and probably an Abercrombie and Fitch model or something. He had bronze skin and fabulous blonde hair and yellow demon eyes with black slits. He wore a suit, a bow tie, a top hat, a black cane, a pyramid print yellow trench coat with an eye on the back of it, and an eyepatch shaped like a triangle. Also, he could grate cheese on those abs like hot damn. 

Dipper thought he looked kind of familiar, but despite the trauma he suffered from an apocalypse five years ago, he couldn’t remember.

The mysterious bishie man went up to Dipper. “Hey there Pine Tree, are you gay or what haha.”

“I dunno man,” said Dipper-kun, blushing. “I’m kind of still not over that crush I had on Wendy like five years ago.”

“My name is Bill Cipher,” said Bill-senpai, but it did not ring any bells for Dipper. “Let’s go yiff.”

“Ok,” said Dipper, taking off his pantaloons. “Everyone just skips through the story for the sex scenes anyway.”

Boy, was Dipper taking it like a champ. “Bill-senpai,” he moaned, “Fuck my shota ass harder with your magnum dong.”

Bill was suddenly crying.”Pine Tree, I have a concession to make.”

He turned back into a dorito. “I am Bill Cipher.”

“That’s ok, Bill-senpai,” said Dipper. “I will completely disregard the fact that you tried to kill me and my family five years ago because you are now a hot sexy yaoi bishie. Shove that isosceles up my ass!”

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!?!?!?!?!” It was…………………………………………………………………………….Ford!

“STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!”

“No,” said Bill, “you are too old and your alzheimers is dangerous!” Bill started to cry again. “Why couldn’t Satan have made me less beautiful?”

“You can’t stop us,” said Dipper. “BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!”

“Ok then, I will completely disregard our history together and the fact that you tried to kill me and my family five years ago.” Ford left, probably to go make out with Fiddleford. What a slut.

“Pine Tree, we have now known each other for three minutes, and I feel like we need to take our relationship to the next step. Will you marry me?” 

Dipper screamed. “Yes, I will marry you, Bill-senpai!”

Less than twenty minutes later, Dipper went to the hospital for trying to deepfuck a triangle. Don’t do geometry kids.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't hate BillDip haha I just wrote this I apologize


End file.
